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MORE: How to Have a Healthy Relationship This simply is not true.

If a relationship with someone makes you feel bad, that is your mind screaming, “This person is incompatible with you! ” If a relationship feels like suffocation, that’s a huge clue that you’re not in a relationship with someone who’s compatible with you. In a good relationships, everything just unfolds effortlessly (well, 99% of the time within a good relationship is effortless with the occasional 1% of the time where you have to put in effort to make sure things stay in a good place).

Instead, it is more like you are gasping for air, desperately hoping they’ll give you whatever it is you think you need from them.

Granted, even good relationships have a little bit of fixation mixed in with them (I must emphasize a little bit), but it is only during very occasional occurrences like arguments or when one or both partners are stressed.

Instead of him feeling like your presence fills him with joy and peace, he will feel like your presence drains him of joy and peace. I don’t point this out to blame you or make you feel bad. This is good news because I’m telling you: This is 100% under your control.

They observe if their connection to the other person feels like love (good) or obsession (bad).

If it feels like obsession, they drop it like it’s hot.

It does not feel good, but it does feel very urgent, very important, and very stressful.

When you’re fixated on someone, it feels more like you’re suffocating. like you must have them treat you a certain way, give you a certain relationship title, or somehow prove their commitment to you.

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